[LET’S CHAT] The Graveyard of Ugly Book Covers

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Ah, yes, it’s that wonderful time where we talk about ugly book covers. You might’ve heard that popular saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” but, as bookworms, we know that is a total lie. We judge books by their covers, sometimes even buy books based off their covers, and will complain if they look in the least bit ugly. And we all know the Curse of the Ugly Cover, and, usually, they can be categorized in five groups.

I know that I usually post reviews on these days, but I was too lazy to write up a review over the weekend, and I had this post that wasn’t really scheduled for a date or anything, so I thought, “Why not go ahead and post it?” So, here’s me breaking my sacred schedule.

Also, I’m using the Slideshow format, so, hopefully, this won’t look like trash. Fingers crossed!

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Ah yes, the original covers of books a.k.a. Publishers Were Really Obsessed With Faces and Cover Models. You might be surprised to know that John Green has gone through a crap-ton of cover changes concerning his first three books, but he has, and BOY, are they disappointing. No wonder nobody picked up his books until The Fault in Our Stars was published.

(Just kidding; I love you John Green.)

Then, of course, we have 2012, which you might remember as the Year We Thought The World Was Going To End, but was really the Year Cover Design Artists Didn’t Even Try. I mean, seriously, what is up with these badass ladies posing like they’re about to take their prom pictures? Why would anyone want to pick up these books?

Fortunately, they have gone through vigorous cover changes, and we have now reached peak level of gorgeousness, as seen in the slideshow below. Make sure you don’t become blinded by the beauty!

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“I absolutely LOVE these books covers,” you say as you read your favorite book series.

“Oh, really?” the publishers respond as they contact a new cover designer to EFF UP THE BEAUTIFUL COVERS.

Seriously, what is this mess? Why are you changing the beauty of the original covers? Who do you think you’re appealing to? AT LEAST DO A SURVEY BEFORE YOU JUST LAUNCH NEW UGLY COVERS MY WAY! WHY IS IT SO HARD TO ASK FOR OPINIONS?

But, seriously. I find it highly concerning that publishers just change the book covers without even taking some sort of consumer report, since bookworms are easily reachable and we are literally the ones buying the books. Covers mean a lot, and I know publishers are well aware of that since they change covers all the time, so why do they change the covers of books that are selling well, and close to series’ completion? Why do they make the gorgeous cover out of print? Why do they change the books mid-series so I’m forced to re-purchase the previous ones in the series? WHY?

A moment of silence for the beautiful old covers that died for the ugly new ones. I highly recommend listening to this song by Lindsey Stirling to set the mood.

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Okay, for some reason, publishers went through this awful phase where they assumed bookworms liked seeing blown up faces on covers. Newsflash: we don’t, and we never have. There’s just something about seeing a close-up of a face that’s just a complete turn-off for readers, and, thankfully, the trend seems to have died over the years, but R.I.P. all the books that could have had beautiful covers if they were published recently.

Also, three of these covers went through changes, and, unfortunately, Vampire Academy suffers yet again. All Richelle Mead wants is a beautiful cover! Why does she have to suffer like John Green used to?

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Sometimes, the U.K. can definitely beat us at gorgeous covers that I lust for, but sometimes, they just fall flat. Have I already expressed my distaste for the U.K. editions of all of V.E. Schwab’s books? Because they are so god-awful compared to the beauty of the U.S. editions that I almost feel bad. The covers look so busy and boring and less minimalist than the U.S. covers. Not to mention how bland the ACOTAR trilogy looks. WHY DOES THAT AWFUL SHADE OF GREEN EXIST? WHY DOES THE ACOMAF BACKGROUND LOOK SO BORING?

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Of course, besides fangirls and bookworms alike being robbed by horrible book-to-movie adaptations, we are also greatly rewarded with ugly movie tie-in covers with stickers that ruin the book and are almost impossible to remove!

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(Somebody please help us.)

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And that’s it for my rant on ugly covers! I hope any of you guys found that slightly interesting or funny (I’m neither in real life). I’m absolutely loving these Let’s Chats, and this is my first time using the Slideshow format, so I hoped you like it. I thought it was the best post to use it for since the pictures sizes were all over the damn place.

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Do you agree with my least favorite covers? Are there any that I missed out? 

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Mini Reviews // 1•15•17

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As I explained last week in my review of Frost, I read fast and I read a lot per month, and I personally don’t think it’d be a good idea for me to post a review on every single book I read, especially if they weren’t that great. What’s the point of wasting time on a full-length review when the reading experience wasn’t too great? 

So, I thought it’d be a good idea to compile a more condensed version of my thoughts on books that were just “meh” halfway through the month. Of course, these types of reads after the fifteenth (or fourteenth, if we’re talking about February) of every month aren’t going to be mentioned, but that’s what monthly wrap-ups are for!

I’m not going to post any descriptions of the books because I’ve already linked them in my Christmas Book Haul, so if you’re interested in what they’re about, go check it out there (except for Crossroads, which has a link in the title).

Also, warning for spoilers! Just scroll down if you see the name of a book you’ve been wanting to read and don’t want to see my thoughts on it just yet.

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The Marriage Lie

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Genres: Thriller, Mystery, Adult

Series: None

Rating: 2 STARS

This was my first read of the year (and month), and it was meh. I was bored with the direction it decided to take, which is more personal opinion than anything; I just expected a better secret than what was provided. Plus, it also had some extremely cringe-y lines, such as,

“He grins, werewolf teeth against skin black as coal.”

(This is after she discovers the black guy is the villain, because before, she described his skin as looking like coffee beans. Yeah.)

“Have you ever seen a black man run?”

No, but seriously, has she? Really, though, how could so many people most likely read this, see that line, and think, “Yep, that’s okay! Looks good to me! That doesn’t even look just a tiny bit racist.”

“Will and I split our household duties neatly down gender lines. The cars and house upkeep are his department, the cooking and cleaning mine. Neither of us much minds the division of labor. College taught me to be a feminist, but marriage has taught me to be practical.”

Because feminism is all about women doing every single thing a man does, and it is therefore sexist to be a traditional woman, by cooking and being a stay-at-home mom. /sarcasm/

I will say, the last few lines were great, but it wasn’t enough to redeem this book, unfortunately.

*

Scythe

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Genre: Dystopian/Utopian, YA

YA Series: Scythe #1

Rating: 3.5 STARS

I was extremely excited to read this one not only because the premise was awesome, but because I absolutely love Shusterman’s Unwind dystology, and I kind of liked one of his stand-alones Bruiser, so I decided to read this first. I wouldn’t say it was disappointing, I actually really liked it; but after reading the Unwind dystology, I don’t think anything can really compare. The characters were so fantastic, and I loved their character development – Rowan was an absolute brilliant character, and I love him – and the world-building was superb, especially since it was a utopia and the more you learn about it, the more your opinion starts to change, but it was just okay for me in terms of how involved I felt. My ~feels~ weren’t really activated, for lack of a better word, but I’m really excited to read the sequel, which is also the finale! I will say, I could easily flip flop on my rating between 3.5 and 4 stars, so I definitely recommend!

*

Replica

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Genre: Sci-fi YA

Series: Replica #1

Rating: NONE

I was super excited to read this one because not only did it have a pretty cover (I’m shallow), but it also had a cool premise: flip the book, get a different character’s story. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out, much like with other Oliver books. He authenticity of Lyra and Gemma was great; they both had distinct voices and were their own characters, and I liked the body positivity because Gemma isn’t skinny, but she’s seen as attractive to other boys and asked “Why shouldn’t you wear a bikini?” but it was boring. And the chapters were deathly long. And once you’ve read a chapter from one character’s side, you have zero motivation to just re-read that same chapter except from a different perspective, with minimal changes to the dialogue. So, yeah, is was, unfortunately, a DNF. I will say, I might try this again as an e-book sometime later because e-books can always make physical books a bit easier to read for me!

*

Crossroads

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Genre: M/M Romance, Adult

Series: Crossroads #1

Rating: 3 STARS

Yes, I read M/M romance novels. They’re my total guilty pleasure. I felt like I was having a sort of “meh” beginning of the month concerning my reading, and I had just finished reading a really good Stucky fanfiction, so I decided to read a M/M romance. I don’t expect much from these because I just want some hot smut and adorable fluff, so even though this wasn’t the best book out there, it served its purpose to make me happy and push me to read other books.

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And that’s the first ever edition of Mini Reviews! I hoped you like this new feature; I’m hoping to keep this up monthly.

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Have you read any of these books? How did you feel about them?