Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned…just kidding.
For some reason, there are people out there who think I am the perfect book blogger. I don’t know what makes them think this because my life can be described best as “a hotbed of stress.” What is it like being content, stress-free, and satisfied? Don’t look at me, because I surely can’t tell you! HAHAHAHAHAhaha.
(Someone please help me.)
A million years ago, I confessed some blogging truths about myself, and it was quite popular, so why not expose some more blogging confessions so we can all cry together over my very real fears.
(Who put me up to this? Oh, yeah, I did.)
1.) this blog will eventually send me to an early grave.
Spoiler alert: I’m an overachiever and a perfectionist. Which means I like achieving things…and then going way over the limit to make them look absolutely perfect.
You might be thinking, “Wow, that’s so cool!”
It is not cool. It’s actually rather annoying (and mentally exhausting) after point five seconds of being in my head.
So, yes, I’ll spend hours writing posts on the weekend to the point where I want to collapse after I finish. Or I’ll make sure to absolutely perfect my graphics even though I know I’m probably the only one who even notices. And is it satisfying for my blog to look absolutely gorgeous and make the best content I can? One hundred percent. But it’s also SO TIRING.
I wish I was one of those people that didn’t care about that type of stuff, that didn’t care so much about graphics and photography, but I am, so I guess I’ll suffer.
2.) sometimes, I would rather throw myself into the sea than blog hop.
I love commenting on people’s blogs and giving bloggers some love even if they only have ten or fifty or one hundred followers. I swear it! But there are some days where I go into my feed and I just want to collapse because writing a lengthy comment on someone’s post and hoping that they may or may not comment on my blog as well can make me tired just by thinking about it.
I’m not the only one who feels the same way, right? RIGHT?
3.) i would be the gold medalist at overthinking twitter if it ever becomes an olympic sport.
And I think I can owe this to my social anxiety, but when I tweet about something that doesn’t involve direct links to my blog, I get so nervous.
Like, what if what I’m tweeting is stupid? Or that no one cares what I have to say? Or that no one will like it, and I’ll be left feeling embarrassed? Or that I’m doing the whole Twitter thing wrong? THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT.
(Your best critic is yourself, am I right?)
4.) on occasion, checking my notifications or stats can be a life-or-death situation.
I mean, when I post something even mildly controversial, I get so nervous that I’m going to open my notifications and get barraged with a bunch of hate. Which is actually ridiculous, because the people who follow me are so kind and I’ve rarely ever had disagreeable comments (and when I do, it’s on posts that I don’t even think are controversial. Go figure), so why I do I even worry about some phantom blogger coming in and being rude?
And regarding stats…sometimes I’m so excited about a post that the thought of looking at the stats really makes me anxious.
What if no one commented or liked it? Or I get way lower stats than I usually do? Or I worked HOURS on a post only for everyone to basically ignore it (which has happened before)?
Yeah, I do care about my stats, BECAUSE I WORK HARD, DAMN IT.
5.) taking bookish photos can make me as irritated as a bull seeing red.
I’ve definitely taken photos that I’m extremely proud of before, but I can’t even put into words how frustrating it can be when I come up with a good idea for a photo, but no matter how hard I try, it’s just not working out the way it should.
And these frustrations have only gotten worse because I want to re-ignite a bookstagram account, but nothing is working out the way it should when it comes to a cohesive theme. OH WHY OH WHY, MUST I SUFFER?
6.) i worry that I’ll eventually run out of blog post ideas (dun, dun, duuuun).
Real talk: I struggled so much in January coming up with ideas for blog posts.
I actually did manage to finally get some topics that I’m super excited to share with you guys in the upcoming months (specifically, this month and April because if I went any further than that, I was going to die from stress-related causes), but the path to getting there was rough.
It was the first time I ever thought, “What if I just run out of blog post ideas?” Which made me then subsequently panic.
I’m sure I’m not even the only book blogger to think of this, especially since I’ve seen bloggers who have been around for 3-4+ years and are still churning out great content, so I’m sure I’ll be fine…but it’s hard to think that when it seems like every other blogger around you has these fantastic and innovative ideas, and I’m over here having a brain fart.
7.) i am very #lazy when it comes to writing reviews.
I have actually started to enjoy writing reviews. I KNOW; WHO IS THIS PERSON INVADING MY BODY? I like voicing my thoughts and opinions about books, and spreading the love to books that get absolutely buried by everyone else.
But do I actually write those reviews at a mildly reasonable time? Of course not.
I write them on Saturday, the day before I’m supposed to publish them, because I can apparently write a full month of blog posts in two weeks time, but reviews? LOL no.
8.) am i even qualified enough to give blogging tips? who really knows??
I’ve started regularly writing blogging tips since fall of last year, AND I LOVE DOING IT. It’s so much fun to examine the entirety of my blogging career, and figure out what went right and wrong.
But at the same time, I also feel like it’s dumb for me to be giving blogging advice since I’m such an amateur, and what if it doesn’t work for someone else? What if I lead someone astray? What if my tips are dumb, and I was just really, really lucky and I can’t help anyone?
I AM WAY TOO INTO MY HEAD SOMETIMES.
9.) whenever I joke around, i assume all of my readers are simultaneously cringing.
I mean, I don’t think I’m hilarious in real life, so it’s not too far-fetched that I don’t feel like I’m that funny when it comes across on my blog.
I think that’s because my sense of humor is not “LOL SO RANDOM,” which is, like, 99.99% of the humor that most people have (and I haven’t found funny since I was in elementary school, but everyone has their tastes of course), so attempting to make those types of jokes to fit the mold doesn’t work for me.
I operate more on sarcasm.
10.) i appreciate nominations and tags, but will probably never do them.
I mean, I haven’t been tagged in any for a while (probably because I feel like I haven’t seen them around a lot), but I think it’s something that I’ve just grown out of as my blog has grown.
Awards just aren’t really that interesting to write or read (I mean, how many facts do I have to provide for myself??? I AM NOT THAT INTERESTING), and I tend to just choose my own tags because let’s be real here, most tags are really not that interesting, and I’d rather just choose ones I know I’ll enjoy writing about versus writing ones that are basically asking the same questions over and over and over again.
11.) I switch blog posts around WAY too often.
Honestly, there’s a 99.99% chance that at least one or two of the posts I post per month were probably not even originally supposed to be there, they were actually supposed to be posted the month before or the month after.
Why do I do this, you might be asking.
Well, this is the curse that falls upon you when you write all the blog posts for a month, and you’re also a perfectionist blogger whose entire worth falls upon curating “the perfect month” for blog posts.
I’M A MESS, PEOPLE.
what are some of your blogging confessions? do we share any of the same ones? h
opefully we do so I’m not all alone.